Well, this blogging thing is posing to be quite the task with the amount of thoughts swarming around in my brain. I think I have come into the “Add a Text Post” at least a half a dozen times, only to stare at the flashing cursor blankly and then justify another more-important task to take up my time.
The conundrum seems to be: How transparent do I really want to be? Let’s just say there is a lot about who I am and what I believe that would offend many, and that is probably true for everyone. But do I want this blog to be a platform for offense? I’m leaning towards no.
BUT, most of the swarming thoughts in my mind are loosely (and sometimes tightly) based on controversial topics: parenting styles, vaccines, education, faith, medicine, politics, personal relationships…uh, YIKES.
Actually all of this leads me to what I was going to blog about today: insecurity.
Insecurity is something I have struggled with my whole life. I don’t exactly know why, considering I have loving parents and was raised in a home that taught me all about how I was especially created by a loving Creator. Alas, it rears it’s ugly head in almost every situation of my life.
I have realized that insecurity causes us to be outside of our destiny, or to try and be someone we aren’t. We are so afraid of rejection, we just want to blend in with the “norm” so that we are accepted and “loved.”
But I have learned that there is NOTHING more dissatisfying than being accepted as something I am not. I am positive it would be more gratifying to be hotly rejected as the person I truly am. The person I was created to be.
Which then brings this all the way back around to the title of this blog: DESTINY. Who am I, really? How much of the current “me” is based on what other people think? Am I reaching towards the destiny set before me, or a false-destiny influenced by insecurity?
I am on a journey to find out who I am, and I challenge you to do the same. “Floating” (as I like to call it) through life is such a let down, such a waste. We were all created for better things than just to let life determine our course, with no action, no conviction: just numb.
You are NOT your job. You are NOT your relationship status. You are NOT your religion. You are so much more than any earthly thing could define you.
This is a process, and a process that you have to commit to daily. My daily prayer has been, “God, give me a greater understanding of who I am today, and give me the boldness and courage to accept and walk in it.” Because “floating” is easy now, but devastating at the end of life and looking forward into eternity.
By the grace of God, I will not float, for I was created for MORE. I will push, I will press in to the deeper things, for in the “pressing in” is where I will truly find destiny.
Care to join me?
For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jer 29:11
I did it. I set up a blog. What is the world coming to?
Honestly, after having an emotional meltdown in response to a heartbreaking blog about a 7 month old with terminal brain cancer, I realized that I MUST start blogging.
Why?
I am an external processor to the extreme. (Ask my husband who is kept up at all hours of the night listening to me try and make sense of the day’s happenings. What a champ to genuinely listen, he is!)
And the title? Well, that was a difficult choice. It’s funny how just a couple empty text boxes on a website can cause a person to get into long, drawn out, deep thought about themselves. But I knew any blog of mine would have to be about more than rambling and randomness. I have a cry in my heart to know who I am and what I was CREATED TO BE. This will mainly be a documentation of that journey.
Alas, with my husband on his way home with some sort of fast, greasy food, this will be the end of my very first blog. But I assure you, this will not (mostly) be a blog filled with this kind of short random superficial chatter (as the title alludes).
THIS GIRL has some things to say. Whether they are worthy of reading, I’m not so sure. Whether they are necessary to get out and aired and sorted and digested? Very sure.
